GIVING UP

One of my patients gave me the name of Ingrid Michaelson when I said I wanted to play some pretty tunes on Pandora this morning at work.  This song played, and I have not stopped feeling connected to it  all day.  I am still tryin to sort out the meaning . . . got any ideas, would love to hear em

GIVING UP

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes home after nine?
What it your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes? Then I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

I am giving up
I am giving up
I am giving up on greener grasses

I am giving up for you
I am giving up for you
I am giving up

Happy . . .

My past weekend was full and great.  I hope this weekend was the start to discovering my new, true, happiness. . .
Thank you to all of my friends who were a part of it.  You always look out for me, care for me, make me feel amazing. . .

Santa Monica - Got a little TOO much sun (burn)!

San Pedro Fire Department!  Thank you Capt. for finding my phone!

Revitalized my soul with Michelle and Tina Friday Night

Ran 4.5 miles and walked 1 more with Ana in Oxnard!

Better than the GSP Shields Fight

I couldn't stop staring when this happened!

Amazing . . . Loved watching it on replay and slow-motion

Mmmm . . . Katie and I got VERY full!

 

Melrose Trading Post - Megan and I like to hit it up . . . followed by The Grove of course!

Running

I met a guy tonight at Starbucks who compared running a marathon to life.  You prepare for the whole thing, 26 miles.  You hit each mile and feel like you have accomplished one more . . . and you think about the next mile you are headed for.  Half way through you do not give up because you have made it so far and you only have half way left to go.  You only live once . . . He said running a marathon changed him; He said running the marathon gave him a different and new outlook on living his life.

Running a marathon, even a half, okay even a 10k, is on my "bucket list."

I will do it one day . . . I am so busy right now that I would not be able to prepare the way that I would like. . . so until then I hike whenever I can and I run for however long I can last without the training.

I ran today and thought of my dad.  I never knew him that well because he died when I was very young but I know he was a runner.  I have been told I am a lot like him.  I love running. . . When I stop to take time to enjoy the outside and running I think of my dad and I feel like I can relate to how he felt when he ran and I can understand why he enjoyed running so much.  I am so thankful for that connection I feel I have with him.  As simple as enjoying running like him . . . makes me feel safer and more connected to who I come from.

Day by Day . . .

I am trying to Live day by day now rather than planning and thinking so far ahead.  I had been stuck in the future for so long that after hitting rock bottom I realized I need to stay in the present and worry about TODAY and not tomorrow.

TONIGHT I am in attempts to get rid of the clutter that has consumed my entire room!  While my roommate was smart, got off the couch, and made progress, I continued to sit and veg out to Sex & the City but now I am going to attempt to CLEAN.  I am listening to Adele getting my cleaning self ready :)

How has everyone else been doing?  My life has been rocky and falling apart so instead of focusing on myself I have been trying to focus on others.  Yep, avoidance. . . Yep, not healthy.  I'll get there.

(I have not forgotten about my New Year's Resolution.  Self Care does not mean your life wont be rocky at times . . . but imagine it without these days:)


Self Care: I visited 2 ol' friends from HS days and went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market!  It was AAAA-Mazing.  I bought this partition for a sweeeetttt deal and always wanted one:)

Self Care:  I spent the day with my friend Megan from SDSU.  I have not seen her in ages even though she now lives where I used to live in Los Angeles.  We started off with a walk to Starbucks, followed by going to the Melrose Flea Market where we created our own Fire Bead Bracelets!
Ate lunch at Vienna Cafe on Melrose and finished with a Mani-Pedi at Pampered Hands :)  Everyone needs a day like this more than once in a while . . . it soothes the soul.

Back To Reality . . .

I had an amazing winter vacation complete with meeting many new friends, over-indulging in food, a little exercise, and a long escape!
But now I am back in Cali.  Classes start in 2 days and work has already begun.

I definitely needed this vacation and can vouch for anyone that is a busy-bee like me that taking a Vacation, or having one to look forward to is really helpful to living positively.  Taking a holiday clears your mind of all the clutter that was piling up.  Of course if it was not taken care of before it will still be there when you return.  However, your mind will be more clear and calm when getting back to the mass amounts of work.

Here are some shout-outs and highlights from my trip!

Our Bus

Bajai Gardens in Haifa

The Boys

Slippin those skirts on . . . 

This is the Marriage Chair . . . and Yes I sat in it :)

Our Medic Amit

The Whole Gang!

Dead Sea!

Hadaya . . . every girl's gotta go

Mmmmmm. . . 

The Kotel :)

Got to see Michelle/Rifka in Israel!  The Old CIty Jerusalem to be exact :)

Lets go to Africa . . .

I had an amazing experience at work today.  I've been told by more than one elder that work is work . . . you work to earn money to then play . . . what work is fun . . .
Okay not exactly those quotes but you get the gist. . .

On the contrary, I had an amazing experience at my job today.  My job is not glorious or known as a Fun Job . . . but it is rewarding beyond belief and therapeutic, no pun intended.

Today we got rid of the bad and brought in some new.  We wrote down something negative that we would stop . . . while thinking of something positive to fill the void the negativity gone would leave.  You must fill in the space, wether you get rid of negative or positive because you do not want more negative filling it in.

After writing down the negative that we wanted to get rid of, we threw it in the fire . . . Let me tell you . . . throwing something in the fire is very therapeutic.  Watching something very near and dear, even negativity in your life, is an emotional experience and is very symbolic.

I cannot remember that exact wording of my promise to myself but it was along the lines of,

"I will not let myself manipulate things others say into something negative.  I will not over-think what others say to put myself down.  I will trust the words others use and will not 2nd guess them.  I will never know what others are thinking, so I must trust what is being said."

Again, this was not the exact wording but this is something very important to me.  And it was something very hard to burn . . . The point of the excersize is not to pick something so broad and huge that you cannot really rid of it . . . I believe I picked something bery big but I could no wrap my brain around something smaller.  The only problem is that others cannot see me doing this until its already been thought of in my brain and spit out of my mouth.  I am the only one accountable.

During this year, in which my resolution was "SELF CARE", this exercise is immensely connected.

The Pink Box

Day 2 of living my new healthy life and what do I see all over today:

You know Donuts are ALWAYS inside of these Pink Boxes

A true test . . . I conquered!  I definitely did see my favorite Chocolate covered Sprinkled Cake Donut and did not eat it . . . I turned to my apple and carrots for comfort!

Now for a little more help when you just cannot seem to pick up your energy:

1. Acknowledge that it is OK to stare into space after a long day of running around.

2. You do not have to smile and laugh, especially when you are home alone sitting by your computer after a long day.

3. Talk to a friend that you know will brighten you up! (Shout out to Katie :)) This step pretty much gets your engine running again spacing out for a bit. 

4. Take some deep breathes . . . 

& by 5. you should have more motivation to get up finally :) & if not Go to Sleep and Get Some Rest :)

Healthy here on out . . .

As I am catching up and moving forward now that I am back home, I have also made a choice to lead a more healthy lifestyle . . .

Back on the healthy bandwagon for me!  When I am on vacation, I AM ON VACATION!  Why not try all the food of different cultures and places when you are traveling?  You must indulge . . . however maybe you should not indulge quite as much as I did over my winter break.  Wether you agree or disagree, I am starting as of today, to live/eat healthier.  Remember, my New Year's Resolution was SELF CARE!

NO I am not DIETing . . . As many magazines, etc. say, it is better to make a lifestyle change, not say you are on a diet.  If you call it a diet, articles have said you will most likely fail more than succeed so you must make the CHOICE to Change the way you live your life :)

No more yummy Dunkin Donuts, Falafel, or mass amounts of cereal . . .

Eating Falafel in a mall in Isreal

I had to grab some munchkins on the way to JFK!

Day 1 was a success and I am in strong belief that I will be able to have continued success this time around :)  My spirits are high and I plan on it staying that way.


TIP #1:  When you are done eating LEAVE THE KITCHEN.  If you hang around longer I swear you will be extremely tempted to, or you will SNACK . . . 

Leave the Situation :)

Sometimes it is Good to get away . . .

I did not plan my latest and greatest trip knowing that I would be in desperate NEED of a getaway but it did work out perfectly.

I teach an Anger Management class to Middle School aged kids once a week.  One thing I taught was ways to react differently in situations that would normally set you off.  One tool was: “Leaving the Situation – but come back later after you have cooled off.”  I am going to just take a look at the first part of this.  I do not believe this only pertains to anger management, I believe this is a useful idea in many stressful situations. 

My New Years Resolution is short and sweet: SELF CARE!

Self Care is EXTREMELY important in living a happy and healthy life.  This includes giving yourself time away. . . a mini (or not so mini) vacay away from it all.  Believe me, you deserve it.

I have already began to follow my New Year’s Resolution:

I am currently, as in RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND laying in bed with my cousin in New York City.  Following this 3 day NYC catch up with my cuz is destination Israel.

I flew out of LAX New Year’s Day at 7:15am on the infamously modern airline Virgin America.  (Pink lights on board and Television for each seat.  Mind you, payment was needed for all movies but I slept the entire way from receiving no sleep from the night before.)

I landed in NYC and was picked up by a wonderful driver!  He even greeted me with a text welcoming me to the city!

My cousin and I ate at a cute little cottage-like restaurant, Penelope, near her amazing Apartment on Lexington. (No I am not giving you her apartment #!)

Amanda and I at Kettle Of Fish in West Village

The next morning I took my 2nd spin class of my life!  First workout of 2011 baby and I loved it!  Amanda teaches spin at Equinox in Murray Hill!  We ate brunch at Barking Dog, Mmmm Omelets and fast service!

Amanda and I -  Times Square, NY

Before the show we chilled at the nice Winery, Stecchinos.  We had the Chef's Assortment with a little vino!

Sunday 7:30pm Showing on Broadway :)

More to come . . . Goodnight From New York City